Good morning All! So, as its my Third Tranniversary today, I figured I’d write a little update post about it. Yep, that’s right. Three years ago today, I decided that I was Transitioning and came out as being Transsexual. What a turbulent three years it has been too. In some ways, it seems to have been forever, yet in other ways, the time just seems to have flown by.
My Three Year Tranniversary
So, I thought I’d write a little summary here to sum up whats been going on with my transition over the past three years and how I hope to see the future.
A little run down of some of the Ups and Downs along the road and my Hormone Replacement Therapy. It has been quite an exiting time really.
It’s been a pretty bumpy ride, but I must admit, It’s been worthwhile and it feels great to see it paying off.
Coming Out
It doesn’t seem like 3 years ago that I took the decision to come out and start Transitioning. I remember deciding that I had lived a lie for far too long, scared of what others, mainly my family would think of me. I decided that enough was enough and was no longer going to allow other peoples problems be my reality.
So, I decided there and then to take the bull by the horns and call my Mother and let her know. As the fear of telling my parents seemed to be the biggest barrier, it seemed logical to get that dealt with first. I then called my then girlfriend and told her too. I always suspected that she would finish with me if I came out as Trans. She wanted a man, not a woman. So I figured I should get that dealt with as soon as possible too.
Of course, she did dump me and my family stopped talking to me. But I couldn’t let that hold me back any longer. I had been denying my true self for far too long already and it was making me grossly unhappy, to the point of being suicidal. It had to be done. Over the next few weeks, I told friends and acquaintances as the opportunity arose. Most have been accepting at least if not actively supportive. So that was a nice relief, although I dont see many of them these days like I used to. But thats not all due to me being Trans.
My Social Transition
Well, as soon as I had made the decision that transitioning was the path I was going to take and came out, I got started right away. I didnt want to wear men’s clothing any longer. However, as it was approaching Christmas and at the time I was busking. I knew that I was coming into the most lucrative time of year for earnings. I was a bit unsure of how people would take me and its effect on my earnings. It didnt make sense to rock the boat this late in the game.
So, I kept aside a couple of pairs of skinny jeans to do me through the next few weeks til Christmas eve. They were quite androgynous clothes anyway, so I didnt feel too bad wearing them. I’d wear these when I went out busking through the day. But as soon as I got home in the evening, I’d get right out of them and into a dress that felt much more comfortable. I didnt really have any women clothing at first, but it didnt take me long at all to accumulate a wardrobe as I was out shopping all the time treating myself to new garb
It’s funny, because when I wore men’s clothes, I was never that big on clothes. I always just saw them as serving a practical purpose, so for years, I’d usually always wear the same thing – Jeans, T-Shirt, Hoodie and boots. The only item of clothing I really paid much attention to was my T Shirts as I’d usually buy T shirts with bands on them. usually Punk bands. But when I started wearing women’s clothes, I suddenly became exited about getting new clothes and was always out shopping every chance I got.
Finding a Home
When I first started Transitioning, I was still living in my tiny little Private Let studio apartment in Bathgate. I was in there for the first 7 months or so. But the landlady wanted to sell up. So I figured I’d give it up and go work the Festival season and just stay in my tent. The general idea was that , i’d have gotten a notion as to where I wanted to actually live. But autumn came and I was devoid of ideas. So I ended up drifting back to Bathgate and staying with a friend.
I hadn’t planned on staying long, but winter soon crept in and with it, the depression and anxiety. I found myself grounded again. But my friend Luke was happy for me to stay as a lodger. So I decided to stay another winter in Bathgate then do the season again next year. Hopefully with more inspiration as to where I wanna live. But then, just before Christmas, I found Luke dead in his room. So, I was suddenly in a dilemna. I was struggling to get out just to the shop due to anxiety. Now i was out on the street.
I spent just over a month squatting Luke’s place after he died. Then a month living rough before getting a room in a suitable hotel. I spent the entire summer living there and couldn’t do any festivals without losing my place. I figured I’d waited so long, I’m as well seeing it through. Then I’ll have somewhere warm and comfortable to get settled in to start HRT and later surgeries. So, in November after a few weeks of rouging it again, they gave me a house here. So, it’s been quite a fair bit of progress since my last Tranniversary.
Hormone Replacement Therapy
In June this year, after a Two and a half year wait, I finally started on hormone patches. These are patches that contain 50 mg of Estrogen. I change them twice a week. Theyre completely waterproof which means I can wear them in the shower and theyre absolutely fine.
Over the past month or two, I have felt significant changes, especially in the way I feel. Amid the rollercoaster of emotions I seem to feel so much calmer and more empathetic somewhat. Although the motional side of things has been quite tough due to harassment problems with some of the local bigots to add to the already fragile emotional balance. But deep inside I feel so much more happier.
Shaping up nicely
I have also started to develop breasts, so that has been quite a positive outcome too. Theyre still very small, but just to see that they are actually developing is encouraging. I’ve also been told that I look more feminine in my face. But its hard for me to tell when i see my own face every day.
But I definitely feel more confident and sometimes go outside with little to no makeup on which is an improvement that has only really come about over the past month or so. Before I couldn’t bear to see my face if it wasn’t made up. Now, I’m quite happy with my progress.
I must admit though, I have been starting to pile the weight on. Ive never ever had an issue with weight before as ive always had such a high metabolism that i never put weight on. Now I’m starting to. So ive been making an effort to keep fit by walking and exercising every day. The extra body mass I put on, then the more my body has to play with whilst growing and developing my breasts. So every cloud has a silver lining I guess.
Sexuality
I must say, I have found it quite interesting over the past three years since I started transitioning up til my Third Tranniversary, the changes in my sexual preferences. Although I was always attracted to both sexes before I started Transitioning.
But I guess when I started, three years ago, I was probably attracted more to femininity. Whereas now, I’m probably more attracted to masculinity and men. But I’m still very much attracted to all sexes and genders. I guess it just depends on the individual.
But I think it’s fair to say that I have developed more attraction to masculinity since i started transitioning Three years ago.
What about the Future?
So, now that I’m 4 months underway with the hormones, I’m hoping that this time next year will see some significant changes. So, I’m quite looking forward to that too. I have an appointment with my doctor at the gender clinic in a couple of weeks. I’m hoping then to start on the Testosterone blockers. I’m hoping then, i’ll be able to get more stable emotionally without the clash of the hormones.
One thing ive also noticed since starting HRT is putting weight on. I’ve never put weight on before no matter how much I eat or exercise. So now I’m getting used to keeping in shape. But the extra body mass acquired will hopefully be useful in the formation of my breasts which have started to bud. So, I think there will be a move towards healthier living and keeping fit and healthy. Hopefully by my next Tranniversary, I’ll be a spritely, bouncing picture of health.
Happy Tranniversary!
It has been a good day today to recognise my Three year Tranniversary. It’s been good to reflect on the path up to where I’m at now and where I hope to go. It also happens to be by pure coincidence, that my Tranniversary falls at the same time as the Samhain, the True New year. So, its been a great time for reflection and resolution.
Keep in Touch
Well, I hope you enjoyed reading my little post about my Three year Tranniversary. If you’d like to keep updated with all my future material, please feel free to join my VIP club by following the link below. It’s completely Free and simple to join and only takes a few seconds.
Have a great weekend everyone!
💜💜💜
