I Come Out as Transgender – My Egg has Hatched

Hey there everyone, Hope you’re all well. It’s taken me almost a week to sit down here and write this post as I’ve been both busy and hyper in my mind, but nevertheless have been feeling absolutely brilliant within myself. This is because l finally come out as Transgender to both my family and my girlfriend as well as a few friends and other family members.

Although I never expected acceptance from my parents, I was still so glad to have finally cleared this hurdle as this has played a major part in why it has taken me so long.

I come out as Transgender

Ever since I was a teen, I’ve never been afraid to stand up for what I believe in or to look different from most people having always dressed quite punky (even long before it come back into fashion to do so) .

I’ve always believed that if friends cannot accept me for who I am, then they are no true friend at all. So that has never really worried me so much.

But my parents and girlfriend were the only people whose reaction I really cared about. Knowing that my parents reaction was a most definitely going to be negative and that there was every chance I might have lost the person i love, should she fail to accept me, coming out to them was the biggest dread.

Why I Come Out as Transgender

Having been brought up to believe that being trans was something you did, not something you are. I use the word Trans and not Transgender here because the word Transgender was never even mentioned.

Usually the words “Transvestite” or “Crossdresser” would be most commonly used to describe anyone who wore women’s clothes. at best “Transsexual” was used. But I was never educated in anything to do with the topic apart from the teaching that it was “wrong” or “immoral”. As a result, I grew up, and remained, very ignorant to the facts.

Although I enjoyed wearing women’s clothes since I was a teen, secretly and very rarely as the chance presented itself, It was only when I reached my late 20s, probably thanks to the Internet, that I was able to realise that I was not a “wrongdoer” or “Freak” and that there was indeed other people not only like myself, but who I could directly communicate with or listen to their stories as well as the scientific side of things to a degree.

But then the feeling of guilt would kick in and i’d dismiss my feelings as being just silly ideas or ludicrous notions. I’d feel ashamed of myself and try to overcompensate by being “Mr Straight” (at that time, I still didn’t even understand the difference between Gender and Sex, let alone Gender and Sexuality.

It wasn’t until I reached my early thirties that I started to experiment with my sexuality, again having guilt ridden breaks here and there and it wasn’t actually until my late 30s that I was to meet and fall in love with my girlfriend who happens to be Transgender. It was only thanks to this that I was to start researching more on the subject of Transgender issues in an attempt to better understand the woman I love. Little did I know at the time just how personally relevant to my own self.

It was also through this research that I was to discover, to my disgust, the way so many people have been treated not only in the past, but still to this day, especially in countries less tolerant than here in the United Kingdom or United States. But digging deeper, I was shocked to learn just how intolerant these so called tolerant countries really are and many of the serious problems that many Transgender people come up against in their day to day life and to conclude that something had to be done about this. I really felt like grabbing the world and saying “Look at this!”

Now, I’ve always considered myself quite a liberal and leftfield person and have never had a problem with standing up for my beliefs. For years, I was an activist, especially for environmental issues and have had friends for years of all sexual preferences, but the whole subject of Gender escaped my attention. This was probably a lot to do with the fear of my own self discovery. But having now made these discoveries about how others were being treated simply because of their own misfortune of being born in the wrong body. I really wanted to do something about this.

It was then that I realised I cannot help others while still hiding from myself. How can I help others be confident in themselves when I cant even be true to myself. I knew what had to be done and I quickly became increasingly aware of how much of my life I had already wasted by hiding from myself. I knew that I had to start my journey now. No more hiding. If I was going to come out, then I had to get on with it.

No more procrastinating!

“The time is Now!”

She Dumped Me

So, when I decided to come out and start my journey, I naturally felt that I should first Inform my girlfriend. This news was not taken well by her and she dumped me straight away, informing me that she had no attraction to other Trans wpmen.

I could understand this and it was also something that I had already braced myself to accept as I knew that this may well have been the outcome. She told me that I was a joke and a fake and that I was far too ugly to ever be a woman then proceeded to block me.

As much as this reaction was not entirely unexpected, it really hurt e all the same because despite my own coming out, I still loved her very much and still felt very hurt by her dumping me the way she did

Drowning my Sorrows

That evening, a friend called around with a Gallon of Cider. I don’t usually drink alcohol but tonight i decided that i was going to get smashed. I didn’t get that smashed but I did indeed get merry and when my friend left, I decided with that usual drunken logic;; “No Time like The Present” and decided to text my mother to inform her that I am Transgender.

Now, I’m not for a moment encouraging anyone to use alcohol to deal with their problems, and as I said previously, I don’t usually drink. But I think that I would have found it so much more difficult to break this news had I been sober.

A Stranger Reaction than anticipated

To be honest, I cannot as yet truly say what my mothers reaction will be in the long run. But she seemed to ask me quite a few questions such as “What made me feel that way” and “How long have I felt like this?”

More Reactions

I also decided to call my uncle that night who was actually asleep but my Aunt answered the phone so I decided to tell her what I’d told my mother. At first she laughed out of sheer surprise but then she told me that she was very happy for me and wished me all the best with my journey.

The next day, I was chatting to an ex girlfriend from years ago who has always been still a good friend. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been well and is currently undergoing radio therapy for cancer. I told her my news and she told me she was delighted and wished e al the best in my journey. Such a lovely thing to say.

A very Pleasant Surprise

I decided the next day to log into the Facebook account that I had made for my feminine persona my years ago when I was still very much a fantasist. I often see these types of accounts being slated on social media by other Transgendered people as being fantasists or even fetishists. But for me, this at that time was my only way of expressing my own inner feelings as well as learning more. So I’m reluctant personally to generalise people who do similar as i know first hand that everyone has their own reasons for creating these types accounts.

Anyway, I decided that I was going to log back into this account again as I felt that I could perhaps find some support and advice here. It was the first time i had used this account for almost 6 years as I hadn’t been on it since i’d met Beth. It was then that I realised that she was not only on my friends list but we had also previously chatted and she’d messaged me telling me that she thought I was hot.

So, i sent her a quick message to say that I still loved her but understood her decision but hoped we could still remain friends. She was so surprised that tis was actually me and she apologised straight away for how she’d spoken to me a couple nights before and explained that she was partly shocked by my news and was in fact reluctant to believe me, thinking that I was using some elaborate bullshit story I’d concocted as a way of dumping her or pushing her away.

But now that she could see I’d actually been serious and that she was happy that I was happy and that she still loved me too. This made me so completely happy. I’d been very happy in the past few days since coming out, but had still been sad to have lost her. Although she was now attracted sexually only to men, we still agreed to be friends and she has been.

So, now I was ecstatic !

The Only Way Is Up!

So, now that I have finally overcome the worries that have held me back for so long, i feel that tgings can only get better. Of course, ‘Better’ does not necessarily mean ‘Easier’, and i expect things to get tough at times. But I’m just so glad that I can finally start my journey.

As much as I dress femininely all the time at home, I still havent got the confidence just yet to just step outt yet. \\butknowing now that i’ve finally ‘done it’in regards overcoming the fear of breaking that news to my family because it has most probasbly been this that has held me back from truly discovering myself because the seemingly impossibility of being able to ever tell my parents this has always written off any possibility of the reality.

I’m well aware that I have a whole load of challenges lying ahead, but at long last I can live my life as my true self.

Woop! Woop!